1. There is something outlandishly charming about miniature fruit. Marveling at an apple the size of a golf ball sitting on my desk. I don’t think I’ll ever eat it. Peeling a dainty clementine in the palm of my hand, thinking “this should be a bit riper, plumper, juicier” as I chew.
2. Perhaps I will never be a ‘Mary Oliver.’ Her poetry hypnotizes and confounds me. I believe it is the kind of poetry I would write if I were a poet. The kind of poetry that actually makes me want to be a poet. Leave all the rest. Be a person who carries around a notebook, looks at life with a curiosity and knowing that when shared sinks into people’s hearts and beyond- into their bones. Perhaps I don’t need to be her…
And “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
3. Every day I learn something. That I have been impatient and haven’t cared enough. That I have judgments and don’t understand. That something is missing. Some part of the puzzle. That I have over-extended myself and needed to say no. That I’m willing, so willing, most of the time, to try to hear, and feel and help. That I am kind and thoughtful and mean well. That I know a hell of a lot and that I am learning.
4. I’ve worked with emotions for a long time. I’ve had them for even longer. I consider myself an emotional person- and a wise one. I understand fear. I’ve studied it enough on top of reading about it perhaps too much and yet I only recently started to deeply look at my own fear. How fear hides underneath a lot of what I feel or do or say. The thing is that it wears a mask. It shows up as self-respect as love as opinion as anger as jealousy as anything but it’s sneaky little kind of cute but also sad, boring and outdated self. And I’ve decided that I’d rather have love working behind the scenes. So that when I make a choice it comes back to whether or not I’m feeling loved and being loved. Not what I’m afraid of lacking, looking like or losing. You know?
5. Peppermint, wild orange, cardamom, vanilla, cassia and clove. Mmm.
Inspired by Jeanette LeBlanc’s 10 days/10 practices to get writing at http://www.peacelovefree.com. Thank you!